Jason Mraz - Winter Wonderland

Who in their right mind would be satisfied with just one Jason Mraz song? Besides, it is frighteningly hot in Texas, so it's nice to pretend that it's Christmans, just for a few minutes.

The Rainbow Connection

Here's a little musical interlude, especially for all of you Muppet fans out there.

Ducks

Ok, two serious posts is about all I can handle in one go, so today I'm going to write about Ducks:

Ducks live a sweet ass life.

Think about it, they are one of those rare animals who get TWO primary abilities. They can swim and fly. Feeling like a lazy day on the pond? Go for it man, you're a duck. But hey, don't worry, when the pond freezes over and all the other lame birds are dropping out of the trees like birdie-popsicles, you'll be chilling on a beach in Cabo, cause you can fly.

Anyone watch the show Heroes? Everybody gets one super ability, except for one guy (sort of). Hiro Nakamura can control time and teleport. And Hiro is, not surprisingly, one of the coolest characters in the show (he is also cute and cuddle, further re-enforcing my duck argument. Oh and also, Peter Petrelli doesn't count. He can absorb other people's powers, but it's still technically one ability, it's just a kick-ass one).

Ok, on to my next point, which we will call Point Tango:

Ducks are social birds, they live in groups. "So what", you may be thinking to yourself. That means that every duck is at least cool enough to be worth hanging out with. How many other birds do you know that flock together that way?

Penguins? I believe the movie Happy Feet has convincingly demonstrated that penguins are officially "cool".

Flamingos? Still cool, in a very 60s coctail party sort of way.

See, that's pretty lofty company. Take eagles, as a counter example. No one would deny that eagles are bad asses. But they must get lonely, right? All that soaring around on their own all the time must give them lots of empty hours to contemplate the meaninglessness of a life lived in isolation. I mean eagle chicks fight to the death as soon as they hatch until only one is left. That's just cold man...cold.

Oh, and a slight tangent for all you wordy types out there. I have just discovered that a group of ducks is only considered a flock when they are actually in flight. When they are on the water they are refered to as a raft of ducks, or a paddling of ducks, and at all times they can be refered to as a brace of ducks. Fascinating stuff.

So in conclusion, I believe I have convincingly demonstrated that ducks are the time traveling social ninjas of the avian world, and worthy of far more consideration than we have previously afforded them.

Tune in again next week, when I examine the relative merits of pogo sticks and other alternate means of transportation.

Things I'm Learning

Perspective: I can't make my own life work. Simple as that. I could spend the next 50 years doing everything I can to make things work out the way I envision them, and die exhausted and frustrated. Or I can cultivate a healthier perspective, living out in the mundane details of my days the confusing truth that we find our lives when we give them up. I'll take the latter.

Patience: There are things that I want, right now. I want to move into my own apartment, fully furnished exactly the way I want it to be. I want to live closer to all of my friends. I want to travel with people I love. Frankly, I want to get married and raise a family. There are so many things that are almost a part of my life, that it becomes far too easy to spend all my time thinking about what I am waiting for, rather than engaging what is all around me.

I'm learning that patience doesn't mean passivity. Patience is the whole-hearted engagement of the here-and-now, supported by the firm conviction that tomorrow will be its own day, equally worth engaging.

Trust: I'm learning to trust God in a deeper and more tangible way than I ever have before. I'm learning to trust the relationships in my life more fully. And mostly, I'm learning to trust myself. I'm learning to give credence to my own instincts, and the goodness of who God has made me to be.

Intensity: This is the one it feels like I'm having the hardest time with. I'm am learning to give myself fully to the things that I'm engaging, to take things that extra step. I'm learning how to discipline my spirit and my emotions in those moments when I would rather watch a movie than sit down to write. I don't want to go through life only making good use of 20% of my time.

I imagine sometimes what my life could look like in the future if I truly learned to intensely and passionately engage whatever it is I'm setting myself to. When I work, I work with focus. When I rest, I rest without guilt. When I spend time with friends and family, I do it with abandon. When I travel, I move fully outside my comfort zone. I imagine a life where I never feel the subtle conviction that I'm just wasting some time, and it looks really good.


So those are some of the things I'm learning. I'm tempted to say, "things I still need to learn", because there are so many moments -- even whole days -- when I live as though I haven't learned them at all. But the truth is that they are sinking down under my skin and becoming a part of me. I've begun to notice instances where I react from these places without needing to think about it, and that is very encouraging.

"It is the voice of life that calls us to come a learn"

Back and the saddle and learning all the time...

It has been almost exactly two weeks since my last post.

I'm really sorry for the long silence, I should have left a note on here or something. I've been on a semi-voluntary computer fast that ended up running a little longer than expected. Let me explain.

Two weeks ago while bumming around on my laptop (I was going to say 'working' but decided to keep it honest, lol), I was suddenly struck by the dreaded Blue Screen of Death crash. I booted up again, and it blue screened after just a few minutes in windows. That was about the time I realized that I hadn't backed up all the work I'd done on Equus things in over a month....so needless to say I was freaking out.

No one was home at the time, so there wasn't much I could do about it. I realized, though, that freaking out all afternoon wouldn't really solve the problem either, so I decided to spend some time meditating. Once I managed to quiet my mind down and get into that peaceful space, I found God waiting for me there, sitting cross-legged on the floor, smiling. He looked very mischievous. As soon as I sat down He said "don't worry Justin, I just killed your computer so that we would talk."

Which, strangely, was very comforting. And we've been talking ever since, about all kinds of things. Now, I would have said that I talked to God frequently before, but I realized how agenda driven my prayer life had become. I mean there was always something of great significance to talk about, or ask for, or surrender, or whatever.

This time, we just talked.

And of course, we eventually got to some amazingly helpful insights about myself, my thought life these days, my fears about the future, the ways I've begun using my business venture as both a means of controlling my own destiny and an excuse not to take risks in the here-and-now until it reaches a certain point (impressive, huh?). But those kinds of things have fallen into the conversation in between my thoughts about The Dark Knight (amazing movie!) and the mechanics of good storytelling, string theory, girls, the church, martial arts, and a hundred other random, hang out topics.

So, I'm in a bit of a daze right now. I'm wondering if things will "go back to normal" when I go home, and really hoping they don't...

I don't really have anything more conclusive to say. It may seem strange for me to just trail out like this, but after all I'm just having a conversation here, and conversations don't always need to be neatly wrapped up.

Golden Post

I don't really have much to say today, but I realized I was only one post away from 50, so...

Happy 50th Post To Me!

In other news, I'm making a public declaration that I'm going to get back into a consistent pattern of writing. I haven't done any at all since coming down to Texas, which is bad. You all have my permission to harass me mercilessly until I produce something.

My Sister Is A HUGE DORKI

Public Service Announcement:

I hereby announce to the entire world (the one's who read my blog anyway...) that, as per the subject line of this post, my sister is a HUGE DORK! She has been blogging for nearly a month and has not mentioned this fact. Now that she said something she has been removed from the list of shame and added to my blog roll, but I couldn't let it pass without tossing a lame bomb in her direction.

With that said, I've read her first few posts and I'm floored....my sister needs to just be a writer or something. I'll carry her bags to big conventions and stuff.

Also, I am going to need to start looking for new people to mock on my list of shame....

Serious Blog Section:

I've often thought about how strange it is that we live as if we can plan and predict our lives. We talk about what we're going to do next month or next week so often. Usually we actually do those things, but it's just been striking me that all of the important events that have had lasting impact on my life have been unexpected. Most of them I couldn't have anticipated even the day before.

Here I am in Texas, for example. I didn't even know half of the people here until I came down for the Vanguard conference in June. I was not even thinking about leaving home at that point, but here I am.

Despite how this may sound, this isn't a depressing or paralyzing thought for me. Quite the opposite, actually. I find it thrilling and it gives me hope.

Do you ever get that feeling that life is always going to be just like this, forever. That kind of slightly hopeless, listless, restless feeling? Or do you ever think about something that you want so badly you think you'll go crazy because you know with 100% certainty that you're never going to get it? I do.

But then I remind myself that the really significant parts of my life, be they beautiful or painful, have always come from out of the blue, the day after I thought nothing would ever change.

Who knows, maybe you're just five minutes away from meeting that special person for the first time, or reconnecting with someone you met years ago and never developed a friendship with.

Maybe tomorrow morning you'll wake up with that one amazing idea that will change life as you know it and send you hurtling in an unexpected direction.

Maybe tomorrow will be just another day.

I guess that's what makes life an adventure worth sticking around for =).

Further Progress

Two more names have been removed from my list of shame and added to my blogroll! Well done Blanche and Zac. The rest of you are still lame.

At the risk of being smacked, it looks like my subtle pressure is really working. I seem to be very influential ;-).

In other news, I've been settling into my month in Texas. I've been here for about 5 days, but it's all gone by in a crazy whirlwind. These Texans really do 4th of July hardcore. Lots of croquet, horseshoes, swimming, BBQ, and hanging out. Good times.

I'm settling into something that actually resembles a work rhythm today. I woke up at 8am and have been steadily checking things off my list and making really solid progress all day. It feels great to finally be productive again. It's also a weight off my mind to confirm that I really will have plenty of time to get work done. I was starting to get a little nervous there....