I really like to cook.
Last night I cooked my first "home by myself for 5 weeks" meal. Up until now I've mostly been eating leftovers and frozen things (and lots of cereal). I made spaghetti, which looked like this at one point:
The funny thing is, I've intended to cook something every night for the last week, but I always ended up pulling something out of the freezer, even though I knew whatever I made would taste better. But I realized as I was cutting vegetables that I've been more than just lazy. I realized that I've actually been avoiding it.
Cooking by yourself is lonely.
My ex-girlfriend Jackie and I used to cook together a lot. We'd try new recipes and experiment with them, it was always fun.
I think it's the little, everyday things that can feel the most powerfully lonely. For the first time in my life I can truthfully say that I am settled and content with the circumstances of my life, singleness, wilderness, and all. But I really wish I had someone to cook with last night.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Cooking
Posted by JustinFike at 10:50 AM
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3 comments:
That's exactly how I feel about it. It's been really wonderful having roommates, because we've cooked together a couple of times, and it's a wonderful experience. But cooking just for you can be very lonely.
Love.
I think there's a reason that Jesus is called the Bread of life, that eating is so much a part of the sacred ritual (e.g., Eucharist, the sacrifices, pretty much all of the festivals, etc.) and language. Eating and cooking are communal . . . and fundamentally sacred.
I used to cook all of the time, but it's been difficult the last couple of years. I don't think anything was more poignant for me, foodwise, than when I made waffles from scratch on the second anniversary of Deb's death--the first time I had done so since she died, despite the fact that I really like breakfast and homemade waffles are a favorite of mine. Pretty much every time I'd made waffles since we got married, it had been for her.
Thanks for putting words to what I've been feeling. I've recognized it, but it helps to hear someone else say it. Maybe this will help motivate me to cook more and eat better.
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