Back and the saddle and learning all the time...

It has been almost exactly two weeks since my last post.

I'm really sorry for the long silence, I should have left a note on here or something. I've been on a semi-voluntary computer fast that ended up running a little longer than expected. Let me explain.

Two weeks ago while bumming around on my laptop (I was going to say 'working' but decided to keep it honest, lol), I was suddenly struck by the dreaded Blue Screen of Death crash. I booted up again, and it blue screened after just a few minutes in windows. That was about the time I realized that I hadn't backed up all the work I'd done on Equus things in over a month....so needless to say I was freaking out.

No one was home at the time, so there wasn't much I could do about it. I realized, though, that freaking out all afternoon wouldn't really solve the problem either, so I decided to spend some time meditating. Once I managed to quiet my mind down and get into that peaceful space, I found God waiting for me there, sitting cross-legged on the floor, smiling. He looked very mischievous. As soon as I sat down He said "don't worry Justin, I just killed your computer so that we would talk."

Which, strangely, was very comforting. And we've been talking ever since, about all kinds of things. Now, I would have said that I talked to God frequently before, but I realized how agenda driven my prayer life had become. I mean there was always something of great significance to talk about, or ask for, or surrender, or whatever.

This time, we just talked.

And of course, we eventually got to some amazingly helpful insights about myself, my thought life these days, my fears about the future, the ways I've begun using my business venture as both a means of controlling my own destiny and an excuse not to take risks in the here-and-now until it reaches a certain point (impressive, huh?). But those kinds of things have fallen into the conversation in between my thoughts about The Dark Knight (amazing movie!) and the mechanics of good storytelling, string theory, girls, the church, martial arts, and a hundred other random, hang out topics.

So, I'm in a bit of a daze right now. I'm wondering if things will "go back to normal" when I go home, and really hoping they don't...

I don't really have anything more conclusive to say. It may seem strange for me to just trail out like this, but after all I'm just having a conversation here, and conversations don't always need to be neatly wrapped up.