I'm Afraid

Yesterday I had my first Arts Coaching appointment with Adam Fleming. I've been feeling bogged down, paralyzed, and all around stuck in my writing project lately (I'm working on a fantasy fiction novel). It's been incredibly hard to make even tiny bits of progress. I thought it might have something to do with my writing patterns or something like that, but after some reflection with Adam I realized that my constraint isn't coming from patterns, it's coming from simple, deeply rooted fear.

I guess I just hadn't really faced into the risk that comes with creating something that really comes from your heart with the intent of sharing it. It's freakin' scary. What if it sucks? Or, even worse, what if it's just kind of generically "good" but never really touches anyone in a real or lasting way.

These kinds of fears are very very common, I know. I guess I'm just encountering mine more vividly as I've committed myself to this project in a more intentional way. It was really good to name them, though, and to plan some short term action steps to begin moving forward again in spite of them. I'm actually having fun with this again :).

I'll let ya'll know what comes out of this week, I'll have some new (fairly different) things to read soon.

J